Posted by
Weebork on Friday, June 22, 2007 7:56:29 PM
From Pirates of the Caribbean 3 to Shrek 3 to Oceans 13, this is the year of 3rds. Not that the quality of movies has changed since 2000, when both the Nasdaq and the sensibilities of movie studios to put out anything worth the price at the box office crashed, plummeted off a cliff, and nearly impaled itself on an Oscar. So far I've seen POTC: 3, O:13, Spiderman 3, refuse to see Shrek 3, and eagerly await the release of Die Hard 3(+1) = 4.0. Other more infamous and very disappointing triplets include Star Wars I, II, III, and the Matrix II, & III. In regards to the former, Master Windu (Samuel Jackson) can use his Force powers to entrap both George Lucas and his pathetic attempt at the young Darth Vader in a room and force them to watch
this for 7 weeks! In regards to the latter, the machines in the movie should have invented one of those octopus-like flying, dredlocked, hunting machines with some hands attached at the ends of their tentacles so they could have grabbed the Wachowski brothers and slapped them silly for making such terrible sequels!
So far, while it wasn't a smashing performance, Pirates 3 was the most fun, especially in the rather puzzling introduction of Jack Sparrow 'round about the half way point of the 3 hour movie. Yes, there was terribly dull dialogue in parts in the movie where you sat wondering when the fight scene was just going to start already. But overall, it was a movie you left the theater smiling about, much unlike O13 and Spiderman 3, which left you both confused and disappointed (especially Emo Boy, aka Spiderman).
The most intrigued I am over any upcoming movie is the one called "I am Legend" starring Will Smith as some cop who is stuck in NY against a horde of mutant vampires, though I'm sure it would just be easier if you called them "Democrats", but I digress. Diehard 3(+1) = 4.0 looks to be fun, but they had to put a bunch of gratuitous violence in it because they think that will pull people to see an aging Bruce Willis pull off the impossible. I look forward to it.